From Fallback to Spring Forward: Bringing our better selves in times of complexity

It’s time to get into some theory! (She writes with geekiness oozing through the screen.) Truly, I do love me some theory. And, some research. Yet, I’ve grown disenchanted with writing it up in awkward third-person narrative for only the people who have access to academic databases and peer-reviewed journals to read.

Let’s get it into the hands of the people. Let’s make it available and readable to those who could care less about the methodology I used to conduct my research, but really want to know why they had one set of capabilities to show up three minutes ago and find themselves in this moment reduced to the emotional and relational capacities of a toddler. I wrote and published the below article on Monday on Medium. 

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After the Rain

It’s Spring Break for the kiddos. And, it’s been raining all week.  Rain is hardly ever a welcome meteorologic phenomenon in my world.  It’s become even less-so during this time of lockdown.  We have so very few options for respite from the walls that surround us, from each other, from the staid repetition of our Groundhog Days.  Yet, the melancholy that accompanies the rain is not a phenomenon isolated within this time of pandemic.  Not for me at least.  This week’s deluge took me back to this time almost a year ago. A time of uncertainty tinged with hope.  I wrote then…

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Lost and Found

In November, I lost my wedding and engagement rings. I love my rings, but I don’t wear them all the time. Only when I’m going out do I really put on any jewelry. I opened the dryer one day and found my engagement ring lying under the jeans. I didn’t even realize it had been lost. Suddenly I recalled that the night before when I was putting lotion on Sloane, I slipped the rings off and put them in my pocket. Then I forgot all about them. So tumble-dried engagement ring – here. Where’s the wedding ring? I searched the dryer, shaking each of the jeans that inhabited it.  Nothing.

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Grown-Ass Woman Meltdown #1

So far, the musings on this website have been largely absent the fallback episodes that pepper my days.  Lest you think it’s because I’m sailing through my newfound roles and newfound co-habitating-while-co-working waters at a graceful and efficient clip, allow me to disabuse you of that notion.  Let me assure you that there have been many “I need a moment” proclamations followed by intentional deep breathing to allow me to recover and return to my day without losing my shit – inwardly and outwardly.  In fact, it’s probably because my fallback occurs many times a day in many micro forms, that I haven’t tended to write about them. After all, I am in the midst of learning-while-doing my new full-time job homeschooling a kindergartener and a fourth grader. It’s hard to find the time to document all the small episodes during which I don’t show up my Big Self.  Both, because the time is scarce and the fallbacks are plenty.

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Self-care tip #2: Do what you love + other ramblings + addendum to “signs” post

There are many things that we cannot do now.  Yet, there are no doubt things that you love to do, that in the course of your normal life what with the kids’ sports and activities schedule, your own social calendar, work commitments, in short, life as you knew it when you were able to leave your home… you had a hard time finding time for.  Remember what that thing is, and do it. 

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Signs that don’t wear signs

Four months ago, I began to fiercely protect the sanctuary of my being space.  Yes, it was 9 months ago that I left my job to set out on this path to being. But for the first 2 months, I was spending the summer with my kids. Then, what being looked like to me was being in the company of others…friends who are also colleagues in the field of adult development. We’re an international crew, so this takes a virtual form most of the time.  My calendar was filled with zoom video chats. My husband would say I was the busiest non-working person he knew. Continue reading “Signs that don’t wear signs”

Fallback in the age of Coronavirus

Let me share with you what brought me here…to emerge from my cocoon, to create this website, to put back on one of the parts of my identity that I had shed.

Perhaps this is what brought you here, too. Continue reading “Fallback in the age of Coronavirus”